Dear baby,
I have not written in over a year. I wanted to keep things positive. We are still waiting.
Today is the day before spring; the photo above was taken today.
I ran into a good old friend and she reminded me of my blog.
As I write on this blog my hope for you grows, you become more real to me. It is only a matter of time.
I have not written this last year. Almost as if I wanted to erase it from history.
What you must know about me is that I am highly sensitive. I see all the bad and wrong in this world.
It makes me sad. I see all of the good in this world and it makes me overly happy. Hard to understand.
I hope that you feel your senses like I do. This earth has much beauty, but also many trappings.
Lust, greed, pride, envy. It makes people mistreat each other. That saddens me.
You will join this world and I will be responsible for your well-being. I must first take care of my own.
Last year I wrote that I would focus on health. I have allowed the above emotions to get in the way.
Please learn from my lesson. It is OK to feel emotion, but you have to control it. This is what I learned.
Every day I battle this inner battle with myself. I look for the courage to get up and keep moving.
I look for opportunities to produce. I look for opportunities to give. We are here to give more; take less.
Exercise is vital for life. I have to repeat this to myself every minute of the day. Water is vital for life.
God intended for us to eat from the earth. Fresh, whole fruits and vegetables, grains and legumes.
Why do I punish myself when people hurt my feelings? This is not a good behavior and I will try to change.
There is still hope for me and you are my motivation. I want to be a good role model for you.
I want to teach you right; I want to treat you right; you will look to me for direction as to how to behave.
This past year, I have been wrongly judged and accused. It hurts so much that I cannot cope with it.
I must learn. I must learn to assert my needs even if it means that I hurt another person. I cannot carry it all.
I know many people will read this. It is honest. My truth. I may be judged for it; I must accept it.
Many teachers and good people have been put in my path. I have guardian angels; they are at my job.
I appreciate them, they may not know it, but I really do. I have friends that are guardian angels.
These friends are not in my life everyday. Every once in a while, I am in need of wisdom and they are there.
These are not coincidences. Your words and actions mold other peoples lives. What you say and do.
Please choose wisely. These are my ramblings for today. Some experiences; some advice. Some hope.
Love you very much.